“What if I’m not good enough for university?” - 5 practical ways to combat feelings of inadequacy
“What if I’m not good enough for university?”
5 practical ways to combat feelings of inadequacy
If this was a normal blog, I’d probably start with a quote from Steve Jobs.
Maybe tell how Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg both dropped out of uni.
Then talk a bit about impostor syndrome and give you a virtual hug and a pat in the back.
But this isn’t that kinda blog.
Instead, we’re going in deep into your feelings and offer more than just validation.
By the end of this blog, you should have 5 clear ideas on how to tackle feelings of inadequacy, so you’ll never be held back by the “am I good enough” thoughts we all get sometimes.
#1 Keep a list of your wins
It’s natural to feel like you haven’t achieved much – especially if you have a tendency to compare yourself to others on social media.
To remember your worth, list down 5 accomplishments you’re proud of.
So whenever you feel like you are “lesser than”, just go back to this list and remind yourself of all the things you’re accomplished, been through or are proud of.
You could have stuff like this on your list:
Have been an inspiring and helpful big brother
I’m always there for my friends when they need someone
Held a presentation to 100 people, even though I was scared speechless
Got admitted to my dream uni
You get the point. Don’t necessarily make your list look like a CV – there are things in life outside of academic and career achievements that you should remind yourself of.
#2 Understand the root cause of your feelings
If you’re feeling like you’re not good enough, there may be several reasons for it.
For the majority, myself included, the reason is perfectionism.
You want to be perfect, and if you’re not, you feel like it’s not good enough.
Makes sense.
But perfectionism in itself is not necessarily a bad thing.
Wanting to be the best you can be, and wanting to produce good work, is not a bad thing. It’s an admirable quality in a person.
So if you’re feeling inadequate because you’re not perfect, explore the root cause a bit more: you’re feeling inadequate because you value good work and you want to improve yourself.
That’s something to be proud of, something to bring you up – not drag you down.
I’ve found that this exploration into root causes of my feelings has helped me stay more rational and take a more objective look at my situation.
And the approach isn’t only limited to feelings of “I’m not good enough”.
I use it when I’m procrastinating as well. My mind works something like this:
“Okay, I notice I’m procrastinating now” => “But what is the root cause of why I’m avoiding this work?” => “Hmm, it seems like I don’t see the purpose of what I’m working on right now. I don’t see how it develops me. Or maybe it just isn’t something I want to do.”
And here’s the crucial part.
=> “Because of these root causes, it seems like personal development and doing purposeful work are important values for me. And that’s a good thing.”
Or
=> “It seems like this essay topic is something I’m not passionate about. It’s important to understand what I’m not into, so that I can focus my energy on something I’m more passionate about in the future. I’m happy that through this essay I am now more conscious of my interests.”
So I try to turn the negative feelings of inadequacy and procrastination into positive feelings of self-learning and understanding of my values.
And these positive feelings make all the difference; they drag me out of the bottomless pit of thinking I’m not good enough.
#3 Is your mind playing games with you?
If you study human psychology, you’ll find so many interesting things about how we make decisions.
When you’re certain of something (for example, that you’re not good enough, or that someone you hate is a bad person), your mind looks for every single possible reason to confirm that what you’re thinking is true. This is known as confirmation bias.
“Nah, I’m not good enough, I could be better”
“It doesn’t matter that I got accepted to a good uni, they just probably take anybody”
“Yeah sure, I got good grades. But it’s just luck…”
As with all cognitive biases, once you know they exist, you may just find that you’ve fallen victim to them.
Are you deliberately looking for reasons as to why you wouldn’t be good enough? Are you disregarding every possible reason as to why you would be good enough?
Understand that your mind may be fooling you.
If it is, have a look at the facts. As in, the list of things you’re proud of that you created back in point #1.
#4 Are you not good enough or have you just not had the chances to prove you’re good enough?
You may not just have had situations where you could apply your learning, thus you feel like you’re not learning.
When I came to university, I felt like I was the dumbest in the room. In high school, I memorized the mitochondria and algebraic differentiation formulae and what not.
In university, studying business, those things didn’t come up very often. So I was often in a state of “everything is new to me and there is so much to learn… maybe I’m just not good enough for this?”
But later I’ve found that even the stuff I learned in high school does come to use. The stuff I’ve learned from extracurriculars is helpful in group work and time management and in organizing events.
In those moments when I can “prove my worth” and put my skills into action, I feel like the man.
So I urge you to think. Are you not good enough or have you just not had the chances to prove you’re good enough?
Try to engage in activities and environments where you can shine – at university especially you’ll find almost unlimited opportunities to do so.
#5 “Fake it till you make it”
Accept you may think you’re not good enough for a long time. Even when you’re actively working to change your mindset, as with all change, it takes time.
So in the meantime, don’t let yourself be your own constraining boundary.
When you’re presented with an opportunity, go for it, even if you think “oh, I’ll probably fail”.
Cliché? Yes. True? Also yes.
I was incredibly insecure in my first year of studies. And one time, I came across this “Management undergraduate of the year” competition.
Immediately, I thought: “How could I possibly join this competition? I’m not good enough. I’m not even native. It’s a waste of time trying.”
But ultimately, it’s not me who decides who advances in the competition. It’s the judges’ job, not mine.
So I decided to “fake it till I make it” – and it paid off pretty phenomenally.
And the funny part is this:
When you don’t let your thoughts stop you, eventually, the thoughts will stop.
You’re good enough – just follow these 5 points and your brain will start to realize it as well :)
This post was written by Jaakko, a Finnish Project Access mentor. For any questions whatsoever, you can reach him on LinkedIn!